It's Saturday, you're out shopping with your other half. You walk through the mall when suddenly something hits you in the face, it's pungent and glorious all at once.
You stop and assess your surroundings trying to pinpoint the source of this aroma #AlwaysBeReady #GhettoCanary
As you reach your 10 o'clock, all that bedroom Secret Service LARPing pays off #IHaveControl #EyesOnThePrincipal
You see him... Bluetooth headset, Omega on the wrist and an off the shelf Paul Costello suit. But then something catches your eye, tucked under his arm - a messenger bag hand crafted by the finest Tuscan artisans. #LasagneCrusaders
While the rest of this Chad's drip goes together like chocolate & gravy, you can't ignore his superior man-bag flex.
As your partner beckons you into the store, the dream is dead. You've been talked into buying those 'amazing' drapes with matching cushions and will more than likely never own Chad's coveted man-bag.
You feel your testosterone levels drop, the assistant looks at you and knows you're stuck in the gulag, forced to a life of servitude and overly-enthusiastic responses to homewares.
Your mind wanders to a commonly shared yet never spoken male daydream: If shit hit the fan right now, could we hold it down like a North Hollywood Bank of America? Start the clock Brenda. #44Minutes
You arrive home, your buddy slides into your DM's with a GwopGoons post. You see it, Chad comes back for more. You investigate and envisage the patch on your rig.
The price is right, the range flex is unparalleled and your partner is in the other room unpacking her new drapes, all as the thoughts run through your mind that this is a small enough item for her not to notice in your go-bag #OneWeekUntilTheNextMaritalSkir
mish #BishPls #SmallPatchBigFlex
You decide to rebel. Revolt. Fuck the system. Fuck servitude. You're not under the thumb. You are Alpha. You deserve this. It's a Win/Win. Your wallet slides out your snack holes and you glide into our checkout zone mimicking Dutch's Predator scream under your breath. #YouSonOfABitch
Welcome to the gang. Enjoy the drip.
2" x 3" equipped with hooked back, ready to slap & increase your flex.
Ships within 7 days.
*Pattern may vary from pictures however every effort is taken to ensure you have a dope looking patch.